My life lately has been, well, a little crazy and a lot of exciting. For those of you who have been wondering why I've been MIA, here's the gist...
As most of you may know I am a high school English teacher by trade. However, once I had my oldest son Wake, I decided to stay at home and raise him. I have loved every second of my 3+ years at home being a mom, however there are some very specific things about work/teaching that I missed.
With all that being said I decided last year, before I was even pregnant with Lottie, that I would always keep my "feelers out" for potential teaching opportunities. I had a few interviews with schools and had some friends send my resume to people they knew. But I didn't just want to make a hasty decision and go back to teaching wherever; I wanted to go back to teaching for the right reasons at the right school. Well God sure knew what he was doing...
Last year I interviewed at one of the best schools (we'll call it the Great White Buffalo), not only in Jacksonville, but also in the state of Florida and the country. I had multiple interviews over a 2 1/2 month period and they ended up giving the position to another candidate. At first I was heartbroken, but knew that for whatever reason it wasn't meant to be; that reason came three months later when I found out I was pregnant with Lottie. Now, fast forward from last May (when I didn't get the Great White Buffalo job) to two weeks ago. I had just turned down an offer at another local school that I just didn't think would be a great fit for me or my family...I still can't tell you why, but something in my gut said "no." That very next day I received an email from the woman I interviewed with at the Great White Buffalo school, asking if I was still looking for a teaching position. I responded that I was always interested/looking, and long story short, that school has officially offered me a teaching job for this coming school year. Crazy right!? This was obviously God's plan all along and I'm a firm believer that in this case everything happened for reason. It is an opportunity that I just can't pass up…and therefore with my husbands unending support, I have accepted.
Now, what does that mean for our life? It means we have spent the last two weeks not only making sure that my teaching certification is up to date (hence me snap chatting about taking those tests), but also figuring out what to do with our beloved children. My oldest will be 3 1/2 by the time August comes around, and seeing as he loves school, he is so fired up about going to preschool full-time. But, my sweet baby girl will be just under 4 months old. I'm very nervous about sending her to the nursery at preschool with her reflux and extreme neediness.
When it comes to motherhood and working I can definitely vouch for "the grass is always greener" concept. More times than not over the past couple years I can remember sitting at home with my oldest, very lonely, wishing I could go out to lunch with a friend or have an adult conversation. Afterall, it's this loneliness that drove me to start this blog. 10 hours a day, every day, not speaking with an adult can make you crazy, and I found myself ambushing my husband whenever he would come home at night. Whenever he wanted to wind down and chill I became like Shoshanna from "Girls" and just couldn't stop fast talking nonsense. There was very little need for me to shower or even brush my teeth at times because the only person I would see all day was my toddler. *Side note...I always brushed my teeth before my hubby came home at night though. I longed for the adult world and some grown-up silence in an office or classroom. On the other hand I haven't even gone back to work full-time yet and I'm already having the anxiety about the fact that no one can care for my children better than me. Will they comfort Wake the
same right way when he gets a boo-boo? Will they know what to do when Lottie has a reflux/choking episode? I'm sure the answer is yes, but the mom guilt is real. Alternatively...I know that come August I will be doing the right thing for my family and for myself. I'm the only one that has to wake up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror, and as long is I am OK with the person in the reflection and living each day as my best self, then that is all that matters. Plus...I'm really and truly excited for this opportunity!
I'm not sure what this will mean for P&P once I go back full-time. I'm hoping that I will still find time to do photos and posts...maybe things will even get better because i'll have more outfits to share and things to say. Regardless, and as always, I truly appreciate your support and look forward to sharing this new journey with you!
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Labels: currently, family, life lately, mom guilt, motherhood, Thoughts, thoughts for Thursday, Thoughts on Thursday, working moms