PAMPERS AND PEARLS: Five on Friday: Advice for College

Today's Five on Friday will be short & sweet. I'm in the process of writing a piece for another blog/feature (which you'll see on Tuesday) and I'm working against a deadline. However, because I don't want to leave you completely high & dry, and since all the lucky little ones are heading back to school, I thought it fitting if I gave you my top five tips for surviving college in the South. A few of these are tips that I received from my father and the others I learned from experience.

Stay away from fire ants!

This is pretty self-explanatory for a Southerner, but when you're raised in the North where these red devil's don't exist, it is much needed advice; a tip I did not follow.

Stay away from Goldschlager!

OMG...I just threw up a little bit in my mouth even writing that word. I know that girls are attracted to sparkly things especially when they're in a drink...but those gold bits are Satan's sprinkles! Just say no! This is particularly good advice especially if you would like to follow tip #1. Drinking goldschlager will surely have you knocked out in a pile of red ants quicker than Mike Tyson fighting Buster Douglas; believe me, I know from experience...I was Mike Tyson...in a pile of fire ants!

Stay away from Football Players

Girls...we are in the South! The success of your school's football team is incredibly important to everything in your life. The last thing some hormonal, muscled-up athlete needs is a stage 5 clinger like you messing with their head. Yes I am a woman so I can tell you right now just how crazy my gender is. It is my own personal opinion that in order to have a winning team we should ban our boys from female activity during the season; girls mess with their heads & take their focus off what's important...winning! And on the flip side, don't be that girl. Don't be that cleat chaser! You're only going to end up with two things; a broken heart & an "interesting" reputation...or itch.

Wear comfortable shoes on Gameday!

I know we all like to look cute...me too! I still have my orange & blue dresses/outfits in the closet, but there is no greater buzz kill than a blister! In college, Game Day is a LONG day! You have to be able to make it for the long haul; tennis shoes without socks, new flip flops, etc..., will not cut it! There is no amount of bourbon & coke that can take away that limp; you might lose your shoes, but you'll still have the blister. I wore tennis shoes without socks one time and actually threw my sneakers away & bought new flips flops at the Gator store across from Swamp; I was that miserable. I also wore new flip flops one time and got a terrible blister between my two toes; I looked like a poster child for National Pimp Walk Day! I could hardly put pressure on my right foot and it ruined the rest of my Gameday! Don't do it! What worked best for me (and still does especially on Fla/Ga when you walk a marathon) were/are broken in cowboy boots with good socks or tried & true flip flops. Both of these options can still be cute & worn with almost any outfit.

This may seem ridiculous...like, duh, here's your sign! But what I learned is that if you at least go to class (whether you study a lot or a little) you will get a C. And I don't just mean go to class the majority of the time...I mean go to class every single day, rain or shine. Your professors will notice this. They will see that you are there all the time and that means something to them. If you go to class you will absorb enough to pass.

AND...on a side note...if you are going to class consistently and it's still kicking your ass...GO TO YOUR PROFESSOR'S OFFICE HOURS. I took Psychology as a freshman (I was an English Major mind you) thinking it would be a "fun" way to satisfy a few credits. HA! At UF that's ridiculous! I'd never studied so hard in my life and was still floating a "C." So I went to my professor's office hours before the final and he looked at me like I had a penis growing between my eyes. He was reading a book with his feet up on the desk, totally chilling. You could tell that he hadn't had a student show up for anything other than bitching/arguing about a grade for a very long time. And because of that he spent over an hour helping me; alluding to what parts of the chapters I should & shouldn't focus on, teaching me the tricks to understanding things, giving me hints for the exam...it was amazing and I got an A! I only wish someone would have told me all of this sooner...so you're welcome!!

Okay Lovies, that's it! Have a great weekend!